Fashion for the Mentally Unstable: Mind Over Matter

Don't you love when life just feels so meaningless you stop doing the things you used to enjoy? And by "love" I mean feel completely ambivalent about. I'll be honest: I'm mentally unstable. Like many people with depressive anxiety, I get listless, unable to focus, and freaked out by every tiny thing that goes wrong. I get angry with myself for being angry/sad about everything. I lose sight of the little things that usually brighten my day.

This is a perpetual cycle. Over and over, throughout my life, I've had episodes where I felt like nothing was worthwhile, that my efforts were wasted and nothing truly lasting would come of my existence. Eventually, I would get tired of feeling like a slug and continue my "futile" efforts at fitting into a society that doesn't seem to have a place for me.

So what's this have to do with fashion?

My name is Anna, and I'm a Thriftaholic...

I'm in the midst of a style-revolution, and the easiest way to restyle myself is to get new clothes! So what is this revolution? What caused it? What are my goals?

1. I'm 27, and I want to look my age. I'm a mature woman, darnit, not a 20 year old "girl" that I'm often mistaken for. I want to look polished, stylish, and like I know what I want (even if I don't).
2. I'm an individualist at the core. I want to be distinctive, memorable even.
3. I used to dress uniquely in university, and even before. Then I dropped out of school. Then I dressed like every other 20-something. It does not make me feel good to be lost in the crowd, like a number, like a non-person.

Goals are good! Goals with parameters are even better!

I hereby solemnly swear to utilize as many pre-loved articles as possible.

Gender Perception -> Perception of Self -> Clothing as Perception Filter

Recently, Peter of Male Pattern Boldness wrote about the phenomenon of men who dress as women. As often happens, reading the comments to this particular entry got me thinking of my own experiences, my own psychology, and the extrapolations I can make.

I was often mistaken for a boy. That's not to say I hated clothes! I LOVED clothes and picked my own outfits right from kindergarten. Mother took me second-hand shopping on a regular basis, which was so inexpensive that only my favourite outfits were preserved against rambunctious play. I was in a tree or playing with G.I. Joes more often than I played with Barbies or My Little Ponies, once my brother was old enough to do "cool" things with me. As a 12 yr old girl, I was "one of the boys" and that's the reason I got a mushroom cut; it was cool on boys, so why not! Right up to age 14, most of my friends were boys, or girls who didn't care to be "girly." Then I suddenly found myself saddled with a woman's body... Fascinating at first, but now that I'm nearly 27, it's a bizarre simpatico between comfortable and tiresome!